The 5 mental health red flags most men ignore, but shouldn’t

Mental health challenges affect people of all genders, and of all ages, but men can face unique barriers to recognising and addressing their symptoms. Men are statistically less likely than women to seek help for mental health issues. Some men may be more at risk of missing, recognising and addressing their symptoms, and this could be related to things such as expectations around masculinity, stigma, and a tendency to not want to complain or look weak. 

The term "red flags" is an informal term that refers to signs and symptoms that can serve as warning signs. The following list of red flags may help men, and those around them, to be aware if they need professional help. For early intervention and long-term well-being, it’s crucial to listen to these early warning signs.

Red flag 1: Withdrawal from family, friends, or usual activities

What it might look like: This can be hard to notice but there could be an increasing pattern of skipping social events or cancelling plans frequently. It could also show up  as no longer engaging in hobbies or interests that were once really enjoyed, like going to the football or going to the gym. It could mean spending increasing time alone. 

Why it matters: Withdrawal and social isolation can be a sign of depression, anxiety, or other mental health struggles. It often can indicate that someone is feeling overwhelmed, disconnected, or hopeless and might not have the skills or the desire to talk about it, so being alone is the preference. This is not concerning in someone who has always enjoyed being on their own and being quite isolated their whole lives. It’s only concerning if it’s quite a sudden change. 

What you can do: If this is a new pattern you notice in someone else, you can gently check in with the person and ask something like: “I’ve noticed you haven’t been around much lately—how are you doing?”. You can encourage small steps back into social life or activities and it could be helpful to suggest talking to a mental health professional if the pattern continues.

Red flag 2: Drinking more than usual or other risky behaviours

What it might look like: If you, or someone known to you is finding a new regular pattern of drinking alone, or more frequently than usual, this should be concerning. This also applies to using other substances, or food, to cope with stress or negative emotions. It might also include taking risks while under the influence of alcohol and other drugs (e.g., speeding while driving, unsafe sex, risky gambling, or sudden spending sprees). 

Why it matters: Substance misuse, and other risky behaviours, can be a sign of emotional distress, or a coping mechanism for deeper emotional pain or mental health challenges. It could be a signal for immediate support being needed. It can be worrying as it could increase the risk of alcohol or other drug dependence, accidents, and worsening mental health.

What you can do: It can be approached with a short chat, without judgement, saying something like, “I’ve noticed you’ve been drinking more lately - are you okay?”. Or if you notice it in yourself, it could be time to seek support and learn about healthier and safer ways to cope with stress, anger and sadness.

Red flag 3: Sleep disturbance

What it might look like: Trouble falling or staying asleep, sleeping too much or too little, or feeling tired all the time despite being in bed for hours and seemingly getting enough sleep and rest. 

Why it matters: Sleep is closely tied to mental health. There is a close two-way relationship between mental health and sleep in that persistent sleep problems can be both a symptom and/or a cause of anxiety, depression, or stress. 

What you can do: One of the first approaches to any sleeping challenges is to try and encourage a regular bedtime routine, limiting screens in the bedroom, restricting caffeine and alcohol, ensuring that stress can be reduced before bed, and avoiding light in the evening and having plenty of daytime light exposure. If sleep problems persist after trying the trusted advice then it’s best to see a doctor or qualified sleep health professional.

Red flag 4: Feeling sad or worried without an obvious reason

What it might look like: It can be very difficult waking up with a heavy feeling of dread, even when nothing specific is wrong. Or feeling teary, flat, or emotionally numb during regular day-to-day activities that used to be easy and enjoyable. Sometimes people find themselves constantly worrying about things that normally wouldn’t bother them. It can be embarrassing to cry in situations like at work or out socially and feeling very tearful. 

Why it matters: Being extra emotional and experiencing persistent sadness or anxiety without a clear cause can be a sign of underlying mental health conditions like depression, generalised anxiety disorder, or chronic stress. These feelings may build up over time and affect the ability to function, even if everything seems “fine” on the outside and there is no clear reason to be so emotional or worried.

What you can do: It’s important for men to know that:  “It’s okay to not feel okay, even if you can’t explain why.” It’s also vital to talk to someone such as a trusted friend or healthcare professional to help explore what might be occurring. Self-care practices such as reducing stress, prioritising sleep, eating well, reducing or stopping alcohol, and getting physically active could help improve mood. Even small steps can help shift feelings of sadness and worry.

Red flag 5: Being angry or short-fused

What it might look like: When there’s difficulty regulating emotion, it can look like snapping at others over small things, or perhaps frequent arguments or feeling irritable a lot of the time. There could also be physical signs of tension such as clenched fists, teeth-grinding, having a very stiff neck or shoulders, fidgeting, or pacing more than usual.

Why it matters: It’s important to monitor for anger and short fuses as unexplained or exacerbated anger can be a sign of stress, trauma, or mental health challenges. It can be damaging to relationships and further isolate the person which can lead to delays in getting the right type of help. 

What you can do: If you notice this in someone it’s best to stay calm and avoid escalating the situation. It can be useful to offer the person a safe space to talk and could say something like, “You seem really stressed—want to talk about it?” If you notice this tendency in yourself to get angry easily there can be useful healthy outlets such as exercise (e.g. yoga, swimming, jogging), music, or reading and journaling. If the anger is affecting work or relationships then it’s time to look at going to a therapist for support and techniques.

What to do if you recognise one of these red flags

Recognising red flags is an important factor but it is only the first step. It is important to seek help from evidence-based and appropriately-credentialed sources if self-help hasn’t improved the situation and it’s been at least weeks of trying to settle the symptoms. Here are some suggestions:

• Use reputable online resources: Websites like Beyond Blue, Head to Health, and the Black Dog Institute offer tailored advice for men at different life stages. Sometimes self-help and a few tweaks to your lifestyle and your daily patterns is all that’s needed.
• Talk to a healthcare professional: They can provide referrals to trusted information, mental health professionals or support groups if needed.
• Engage in peer support: Programs like Men’s Sheds or Movember’s mental health initiatives provide community-based support in a non-clinical setting.
• Call on support: If you, or someone you know is struggling, don’t wait for a crisis. Beyond Blue has specific information for men https://www.beyondblue.org.au/mental-health/Mens-mental-health . Consider reaching out for free and confidential support. Men’s Helpline: 1300 789 978 Beyond Blue: 1300 224 636 or Lifeline: 131114.

The bottom line

There is not a one-size-fits-all approach to men’s mental health and the red flags may present differently across the lifespan. A key factor that is common across all age groups is the need to break down and challenge the stigma and embarrassment that can still surround men seeking help for emotional issues. Some men may not associate behaviours or symptoms such as aggression, substance use, or risk-taking as being related to their mental health. The bottom line is that it’s important to notice and act on the warning signs and symptoms and to be aware that help is there for all men in our community.

Related reads:

• Men’s mental health: why checking in with the men in your life is so important
• Building (holistic) healthy habits for men
• Australian men’s health facts: how healthy are Aussie men – really?

Reviewed by Healthylife Advisory Board June 2025